So, I met this *friend* of mine yesterday on chat. He’s going to delete his Facebook account citing the uselessness of the website. Obviously, it made me tempted to ask a few questions before he went forward. Here’s the funny and quite interesting chat log which we had. Have fun reading this!

note: Statements in <> is my thinking at that time, not the part of actual conversation.

  • HE: Dude, I’m deleting my Facebook account.
  • ME: Really? Bold step, hah! <Like I care :|>
  • HE: What bold step buddy, it’s just a distracting social network.
  • ME: Seems you have nice and new revelation. Good for you. <One less stupid poster, what’s better I can get? :D>
  • HE: New? I always knew this. Facebook kills our productivity. If you really want to make new friends, go out meet in person not virtually.
  • ME: Wow! You’re really think too much on this. But I think, we’re still making friends here, the *real* ones. <not you of course>
  • HE: Real? how can you say that? Anybody can easily fake on this $%^& sites.
  • ME: Well, all you need is something inside your head and a bit of common-sense <you’ve none :twisted:>, you can easily identify the real people. No big deal.
  • HE: That’s too difficult to implement than to say. But anyway, it still kills the productivity and has absolutely no privacy.
  • ME: Productivity? You do 8-9 hours job for 5 days a week, enough for your company. You don’t use Facebook in this time, do you? Then how does it kills productivity? <Anyway, first you’ve to productive, isn’t it? :roll:>
  • HE: I do use use Facebook in these time as well πŸ˜›
  • ME: What? But Facebook is banned in your office, isn’t it? <getting bored :(>
  • HE: Well, you don’t understand. That’s the fun – to fool our IT admins!
  • ME: Wow, so how exactly you do that? <I’m not interested in knowing though. Your computer knowledge sucks anyway. :evil:>
  • HE: Simple, I’ve to set the proxy server setting in my browser, which masks Facebook as some harmless URL and open gates to Facebook.
  • ME: Is it that simple? 😯 <I know it’s not, at least for you, even if somebody configures it for you>
  • HE: No, obviously not. These proxy server URL and settings needs to be changed every hour to avoid detection. Also, I’ve to make sure that nobody’s seeing my screen.
  • ME: <See! πŸ˜† Somebody tell him about VPN or Tor.>Β What the hell. You do all these things and risk your job just to use the service you just want to delete. Heck, I think you’ve to spend more time connecting to Facebook than actually use it.
  • HE: Hmm, leave it. But it kills productivity na.
  • ME: Don’t use Facebook in the office, simple. You still have 16 hours a day left, you can easily give 3-4 to Facebook and I think it’s more than enough. <People are already fed up with your posts :cry:>
  • HE: But what for? And hell, nothing is private here. Anybody can see your posts, pictures, and other informations. It has no value too.
  • ME: You get social networks all wrong buddy <like I expected him to understand it correctly>. You’re here, only because you want to share something. If you’re so concerned about privacy, use emails, not these social networks.
  • HE: But my things should be private, right? Why any random person can see my stuffs? Facebook is so stupid.
  • ME: If your stuffs are so private, then why are you sharing it at all? Just keep it to yourself, use emails or other private channel send these informations to person in concern. <And don’t include me in your private circle :mrgreen:>
  • HE: You talk like freaking Facebook agent. Tell me, why can’t I have my stuffs private here only?
  • ME: Just because, PRIVATE and SOCIAL don’t go abreast you FOOL! Anyway, Facebook also has privacy and sharing settings. If you tweak it correctly, you can pretty much control who sees what part of your *stuffs*. <I know, fighting with Undertaker is easy for you than this>
  • HE: Is that so? Never knew that. I’ll check and see. Thanks for that.
  • HE: But still, it’s not useful at all.
  • ME: Now, how can you say that? <For me useless is you not the Facebook! 8)>
  • HE: What the hell. Can’t you see? Either you’ve to keep your stuffs private or not share at all. So, if I’m not sharing with people, Facebook is worthless.
  • ME: You’re currently using Facebook chat to talk to me, dumbo! <Yeah, seen that F symbol? :x>
  • HE: Ohh crap! Yeah, this might be the use, but that’s it. Chatting.
  • ME: and connecting with your friends. Even if you’re not psoting, they can post about their lives. You may learn about new things or websites as shared by others <general knowledge, not applicable to you though :idea:>. May make new friends and hell you can land into new jobs because of it. So, why are you complaining?
  • HE: I still don’t like it.
  • ME: Don’t give me that bullshit. After this conversation, I know you’re love Facebook and even risk your job for it. Tell me the real matter. <How else you justify thousands of posts a day :?:>
  • HE: Actually, I just broke up with my girl yesterday, because of Facebook.
  • ME: Is that so <Nice! :twisted:>? Man, that’s a real problem. But how does Facebook involved in this.
  • HE: Actually, yesterday was her birthday.
  • ME: And you missed her birthday, because you’re too involved in Facebook? 😯 <Leave my stream, grab her, *ugh*, hand>
  • HE: No re, actually it’s different. I met her in person in the morning and wished her, but forgot to wish her on Facebook.
  • ME: What the F***!! She’s also addicted. And, how does it a big deal. You wished her in person, right? <Ahh great, like one is not sufficient. Thanks a lot God. :cry:>
  • HE: But she likes Facebook wishes more. She loves if someone posts in her wall.
  • ME: Ah, but you could have used some excuses like there was no internet access at that time. <If you have brains to think that far>
  • HE: Actually, we had the booze party a day before which ran till 3 a.m. yesterday.
  • ME: So? <Why are you telling me this?>
  • HE: So? She saw the pictures of party I’ve posted @3:15.
  • SILENCE on both ends!